have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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