Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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