somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
