After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
