She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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