Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
