it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
