I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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