he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize