I'm really into asian looking animals
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
worst night to have a conscience
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
