do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
