What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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