Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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