does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
