He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Your penis caused this!
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