He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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