i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
