fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
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Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
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he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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