No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
