How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
