I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
