when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
