Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I had to cum in my sink.
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