We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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