Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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