hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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