idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
