Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
