What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
