yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
