he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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