in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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