found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Damn victory sex feels great
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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