dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
