We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
