I saw his package. It spoke to me.
that's an acceptable place to lick
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i think i have herpe
just one?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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