I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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