lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
