What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
