its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I party with great urgency now.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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