weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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