Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize