It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
