Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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