I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
