first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
