Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
