I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
