Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
