After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
