And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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