I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
