dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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