Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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