I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Buhtt sex?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize