i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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