my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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