if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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