I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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