The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The air was thick with penises
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
