Fine. I'll sleep in my office
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
