if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
