FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
