meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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