So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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