Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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