discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
