You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
