You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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