He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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